Cool, Calm and Collected

The day I became a mother, was probably one of the scariest but at the same time one of the most beautiful days of my life.  I confess that I was very nervous.  When my daughter was handed to me immediately after being born, my hands were shaking, my heart was pounding, I became anxious and when she started crying I didn't know what to do.  It wasn't until my cousin came to visit and said I needed to relax.  She said my baby was able to feel and connect with the way I was feeling and so I needed to be calm.  As the minutes turned to hours, I began to feel more comfortable.  So much so, that I held her on my chest all night.  

When my son was born, you would think I would have been much more comfortable than the first time, but no.  I was just as nervous, but this time tried to relax and calm myself much sooner.  Because of that I was also able to hold my son on my chest his entire first night.

As time passes there are still times I get quite nervous.  There are tantrums in public, outburst, disagreements, bad attitudes and all of the above.  I always go back to my cousins advice and make the best effort to remain relaxed and calm in an effort to transmit the same to my kids. 

My Daughter

My Son

My Role Models

I daily cherish the journey this whole parenting gig takes me on.  I daily strive to be the best mommy I can be.  It is not easy and there have been quite a few times I have sat and cried.  I then think of those before me.  My sister, who has two boys but felt like she had five, lol, my mother who had eight of us and my grandmother who had six.  How in the world did they manage?  Well, that really does not matter.  The point is that they did and I as a sister and child love them very much.  I have had pretty amazing ladies to live up to and whose footsteps I very much make an effort to follow.  The purest of actions, dedication, and respect are what theses ladies taught me.  If I can be half of what they have been, I know I will be a great mommy.

Mommy

I have been beyond blessed and honored to have two beautiful children.  My daughter, soon to be five and my son, now 10 months old.  This happened completely on God's perfect timing.  My pregnancy's however, were not easy.  After the loss I had experienced with my first pregnancy, I was beyond extremely careful with my daily activities.  Add to that my extreme morning sickness, which was actually all day sickness, and I was literally going from my bed to the couch everyday for seven months straight.  

After I had my daughter, I had another miscarriage.  And, it hurt just the same.  But, again my husband and I held strong to God's promise.  We now had our daughter to also find comfort and joy in. 

My son's pregnancy was just as bad as the first.  I was not one of those go happy pregnant ladies that was enjoying every minute of their pregnancy.  I was miserable and sick.  

My labors and deliveries were a whole other story.  My water broke at home and my kids were born within 3 hours of arriving to the hospital.  Two pushes and done. I guess that makes up for the rough pregnancies, right? Not really, having my kids in my arms, born as healthy can be, made up for it all.

Seven Months Pregnant With My Daughter
5/2010

Six Months Pregnant With My Son
4/2014

A Favorite Day

One of my very favorite days was when I told my husband we were expecting.  I always knew that I wanted to be creative when I gave him the news.  After all, we had been married for nine years and this was not just any news.  It was the best news of our lives! 

It was a Tuesday and I invited my sister and two of my brothers out to dinner.  We met them there and as we were finishing up, I handed a gift to my husband.  With a puzzled look he opened it and saw his picture in a "worlds greatest daddy to be" frame.  He cried.  I cried.  We all cried.

On the way home we called our parents, who were out of the country.  

How little did we know that this little angel in me, was just that, an angel.  This was our first pregnancy our first announcement, and our first great loss.  We had a miscarriage two weeks later. We relied heavily on God's promises for us.  It was a difficult time and we knew that we would only get through it with God's help.  It hurt physically, emotionally, mentally and it was very draining.  At times it was even confusing.  It confused me that something that is considered very common, had very little explanation.  

Getting through this was made much easier being surrounded by my husband, family and friends.  Their prayers, encouragement and support brought back a great joy.

So, yes, this will always be one of my very favorite days even though the outcome was not.

We're Good

We seriously live in a baby gear store.  How many attractions does the child really need?! It makes me laugh out loud to see our entire living room space, literally, filled with all these devices and attachments.  Which by the way were all my daughters and are close to five years old.  The up side to all this is that they have been used to the max.  They may take up all of our space but they certainly got the job done. I am sure this also explains why when someone asked if we needed a walker or a swing, a stroller or a rocker, our response was always, "thanks, we're good!"